My Big Surprise

A month or more ago, my new friend Brooke mentioned that she would like to start a Bible study with some ladies from school and whoever else wanted to join in. I can't lie -- my gut reaction was an internal groan. Not because I didn't like these people, not because I didn't love the Lord, but because I've basically been trying to hide from Him for a while. It's much harder to do this in a Small Group. Dang accountability always messin' me up.

Anyway -- my desire to get to know Brooke and others better and the urging of the Holy Spirit (again, dang it!) ended up overriding my desire to stay hidden under a bushel (no!) and I agreed to join.

Fast forward to our first meeting. We're all sitting around discussing what we want to study, who will lead, how often we'll meet, etc. and all of a sudden -- word vomit. (that's a shout out to the movie Mean Girls -- watch it, you won't regret it!) I started contributing ideas!! I felt my InterVarsity training kicking in and suggesting ways that we could approach it. And the next thing I knew, I VOLUNTEERED TO LEAD THE FIRST FEW WEEKS! How's that for hiding?

Now, I could end my post there. That was surprise enough in itself. But then came the first night I actually led. And wouldn't you know it, at least twice as many people showed up to this one as the first one! No pressure. Of course, I felt pretty prepared -- Lee gave me some Bible Study refreshers and helped me talk through some ideas -- but when you lead a Bible Study, especially a new one, there's no telling how it will actually go.

So, we started our meeting a little late -- it's a shame we all like each other so well. :) And then we get going. I'm half expecting to hear the crickets chirping as I ask questions, but low and behold, we had such amazing, uplifting, God-centered conversation that I only got through the first point on my plan before we had to wrap up!

Now, I could end my post there. It was a great night filled with easy conversation and sharing. That was surprise enough in itself. But then came my feelings about it...

If you know me at all, you will really understand why this is another big surprise...

I actually felt good about the way I led, what I shared, AND I REALLY ENJOYED DOING IT! I tend to be so hard on myself and analyze every little thing, but I honestly didn't! When Lee asked how it went, I was actually able to say "really good" instead of my normal answer of "it was okay".

I guess the BIGGEST surprise is that after all this time, I still get surprised when God shows how willing He is to be there for me!