As if a fungus on my face wasn't enough...
This past Wednesday morning as I walked out to my car, my neighbor (who I haven't talked to since I moved here in December) was walking out to his car at the same time. This never happens -- coming or going -- which is why I haven't talked to him yet. That and I'm weird about talking to strangers. Anyway --
I hit the next to last step and my feet flew out from under me and I landed on the bottom step HARD! (Ice in April???? What in the world??) Of course my whole body was jarred and the part of the step the juts out horizontally really dug into my upper posterior. I exclaimed "OUCH!" (I was proud that something more rude didn't come out) and sat there waiting for neighbor-guy to say "Are you okay?" or "Can I help you?" But instead, what I heard was the sound of him going back into his house and shutting the door!!! He didn't even stick around to see if I was okay!!! I was so humiliated and then I was so ticked that he didn't even check on me! I mean, I am worried that if he hears me screaming he won't come check on me!
So, just hours later I was already feeling it. My upper biscuit was swollen and a bruise formed immediately. By the next day, this bruise was about 7 inches by 4 inches and so dark purple it was basically black. It's been almost a week and I'm still sore (I mean, how much recovery time do you really get on your bottom? I mean, you sit on it!!) but the bruise is just starting to turn green/yellow around the edges. Believe me, I wish it wasn't completely inappropriate to show it everyone because I really would. It's THAT impressive!
I'm still contemplating taking a picture of it just to have for myself.
The year of 11
8 years ago
5 comments:
I thought the mental picture you painted was quite sufficient.
I thought that the post was going to be about a bad experience at a breakfast drive thru. Way to throw me a curve ball!
It is so refreshing to hear someone besides Yosemite Sam refer to their rear end as their "biscuit" (his was usually on fire - hence the quote "My biscuit's a-burning, My biscuit's a-burning)." Sorry about that, sounds rough, hope you feel better.
have you read the new nicholas spark book??
it's a love story about two neighbors...
Jen,
All I have to say to that one is...
BLECH.
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