Embracing my inner Dolly...

... Dollywood that is!

A few months ago, the Simmons family took a trip to Dollywood with Lee's mom and sister. I, of course, found this really amusing and made fun of them (if not to their face, at least behind their back... :) When they returned home, I found out that not only did they have a blast, but they also purchased season passes. Season passes?? For Dollywood?

Then pretty soon after this I find out that Dawn and her little family had also been to Dollywood and emerged with season passes!! Now, I consider Dawn to be one of the most reasonable people I know. (It's probably because we're both Js.) And she's pretty darn cheap! (How long did you have that tiny little TV because you refused to spend money on one that you can actually see?)

How was this happening? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

But then I considered that I like cheese as much as the next guy... so really who am I to judge? Plus, I really don't like to be left out of things, especially fun things, so if one by one my friends were becoming members of the Dollywood Season Pass Holders Cult, I needed to check this out for myself...

So, Lee, Joy, Cecilia, Gareth, Dawn and Anna K and I headed to Pigeon Forge so I could take in the Dollywood splendor for myself. (Obviously you know where this is going...)

My Season Pass in all it's glory.

Here are some pictures of our day! (courtesy of Dawn)

On the shuttle from the parking lot.

On the shuttle -- I think this is the last time Anna smiled for the camera that day...

First ride of the day -- Cecilia was so happy that she and I got a pink car!

Lee and Gareth in his Lightning McQueen red car.

The redheads looking awesome in a teal car!

Probably the best picture of the day!! The kids looking like drowned rats after the River Rampage Ride.

Waiting in line for the Scrambler, one of Anna's faves! (Mine too! I think I'm mostly just fascinated by the fact that it doesn't make me sick!)

Anna, Cecilia, and Dawn on the Scrambler.

Deda and Gareth on the Scrambler. I promise you, he was screaming "GO! GO! GO! FAST! FAST!" at the beginning. By the end... he was looking a little green. :)

We also saw a show, ate some really yummy food, and just had an all around great time! So, yeah. I'm sold! Got my season pass and my $.99 refillable cup ready to use ALL SEASON LONG! (Did I mention that Dollywood is all Coke? Could this place be more perfect??)

Okay, so who's up for a trip?

Things I Love Thursday!

I have come to the conclusion that I have an addictive personality. Not scary addictive, but addictive just the same. There are a couple of things that I honestly cannot imagine giving up for any period of time and one of them is LOTION. I LOVE LOTION! I cannot stand the way my hands feel when they are dry -- after washing dishes is the worst! I have shared this before, but when I was little, if I woke up in the night and my hands felt "funny" (I have since realized they were dry...), I would lick my palms and go back to sleep. Gross, but effective enough to allow me to go back to sleep without thinking about the feeling anymore. Now, I often wake up and night and roll over to squirt on some lotion before going back to sleep.

It will come as no surprise that I have certain favorites. My main all over after a shower lotion is Olay Quench. It has to be the kind that has deep indigo writing on the bottle... Ultra something or another. I LOVE the smell and the texture of it. The only slight issue I have is it's a little sparkly. Not quite middle school dance makeup sparkly, but a little sparkly just the same.

Recently two more lotions have come into my life that I honestly will never live without again. I stumbled upon these one day at Bed Bath and Beyond when a cashier suggested I buy the travel sizes so I could boost my total to qualify for a coupon. Best decision ever! I tried Miracle Foot Repair and Miracle Hand Repair that night and within two days, my feet were no longer cracked and scaly as they often are throughout flipflop season. I went to get a pedi a couple of weeks ago and the lady didn't even put on the heavy duty heel cream that she normally has to use! And as for my hands -- I have seriously had like 4 people comment on how soft my hands are! How often does this happen? (Unfortunately none of them were hot single men, but whatever... :)

Okay, so those are three things I love -- seriously love -- and highly recommend to EVERYONE. If you're skeptical, try mine or get a trial size. I guarantee you will be buying the big stuff before you know it!

My Last "My" Post

When I started this blog, I decided to follow in the tradition of Scrubs and title every post "My _____". For a while, I enjoyed the challenge, but I have decided that I feel strangled by this attempt to keep it up. (Coincidentally, this is similar to the way I feel about ABC choosing to continue with Scrubs, a show that I LOVE, but which I feel needs to be allowed to die with dignity. But that's a post for another time...) So, no more.

Part of the catalyst behind the decision (beside intense frustration in trying to come up with clever ways to title my posts "My something") is that I would like to start some regular segments that I've seen others do such as Things I Love Thursday and Earworm Wednesday (I haven't actually seen anyone with this one, but Stephen King mentioned earworms in Entertainment Weekly a while back and I've been thinking about the number of songs in my head each day and it's quite the motley crew!). Maybe More than you need to know about Me Monday or Flashback Friday. The possibilities (and alliterative delights!) are endless! These won't be EVERY week, but used on those days when I think that I'd like to write something but have nothing exciting to say.

Stay tuned! I can feel your excitement. :)

My ADD Brain - writing a paper

Today I am really going to finish this stupid paper for Program Evaluation. Let's see.. okay, I finished up with the context and input analysis yesterday so I should probably... check on my facebook status. Oh I don't want deep fried pickles anymore, but pickles do sound good. Why didn't I stop at the store and get some? Oh right, I'll probably eat a whole jar and my sodium intake would be off the charts. So my status should now say I'm working on a paper. Now to go work on the paper. So, I need to tally up all the results from my teacher surveys. Ooh! I could color code! Where are those highlighters that I used the other day? I really need those because they match what I've already used. They aren't in this drawer, but there is that pen I've been looking for. It's the right color for my calendar (which is also color coded) so I will pull it out and mark off the days until the end of school... thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven. Woo! I can do anything for thirty-seven days, right? Okay, back to highlighters. What did I need them for? Oh yeah, color coding my survey. So, these questions go together and these questions go together so they should be green... did I ever find that other green earring I lost? I bet it might be in the kitchen in my bag of shopping bags. I'll go check. Nope, it's not in there. I guess I'll empty the dishwasher. These cups aren't fitting right in this cabinet. What's behind there? Oh, it's my colander. Maybe I should put it somewhere else so the cups have plenty of room. Which cabinet will it fit in? Okay that works. Now back upstairs. Color coding complete. Now how do I put these in sentences? Hmmm... I'm not sure how specific I'm supposed to be. Well Shanti finished hers already so I'll send her a Facebook message. Dear Shanti... what do I do? Send. Ooh, four new notifications! Michelle joined PolBuckingham? What does that even mean? Oh it's a page for his music. I should listen to one of his songs. Nice! I like that one. How is Dawn surrounded by such musical people? I wonder if she's updated her blog lately. Anna Kirby is SO CUTE! I just love to hear her talk! Cute video! Who else has updated their blogs lately? More cute pics of Annie! Things I Love Thursday with Brooke! Love it! Would give me a reason to post. I may have to start that on Thursday... Okay, back to the paper. Blackberry is flashing! New notification on Facebook! Wait, I don't know this person. Oh they commented on something I commented on... Facebook, bringing strangers together. PAPER! I still don't know how to write up this data analysis... I'll just write something and change it when Shanti gets back to me. Or maybe I should edit what I have so far? This chair is getting uncomfortable. To the futon! Much better... wait...stiches are itching... I wonder what it's looking like back there. To the mirror! Hmm. Not too bad, but still has some sticky residue from bandaids. Can't have that. How can I get it off without really hurting myself... let's see... qtip with alcohol? qtip with goo gone? Oh well. It will just have to wear off. Back to writing. Oh wait, I was editing, right? Wow, I'm really ADD today. Maybe I should blog about it...

*Note: Although the order of events may be inaccurate, the content is all me!*

I think this just about sums it up:

My Pop Culture Brain

I do a lot of thinking in the shower. Sometimes it's very serious thinking... prayer, solving world hunger, ways to create peace. Sometimes it's crazy thinking... What would I do if someone broke through the door right now while I was in the shower? What song would I use to audition for American Idol? Sometimes it's just random... like tonight.

Tonight in the shower I was thinking about how so many songs that I hear connect me back to some pop culture reference -- usually a movie or TV show. For example, I was recently talking with Lee about the songs she had chosen for Audrey's 1st birthday party CD and the song "Let My Love Open the Door" came up. When I heard it, I said "Now I'm imagining all these little swimming sperm." She looked at me like I had three heads -- understandably so. She said something to the effect of "or you could picture that scene in "Dan in Real Life". What are you talking about?" And yes, the "Dan in Real Life" scene is there too, but unfortunately, I jumped straight to the sperm. Anyone know what movie I'm referring to, with the sperm? Probably not. It's the end of "Look Who's Talking" when Kirstie Alley and John Travolta finally get together and obviously make a baby -- this is the song that is playing as the spermies make their move.

Then I started thinking of other songs that make me think of movies, but couldn't seem to tear away from "Look Who's Talking". I immediately jumped to "I Get Around" by the Beach Boys. Why this song? Well, because at the beginning of the movie when Kirstie Alley is still sleeping with her married boss, this is the song his little swimmers boogie down to as they approach her awaiting egg. Then I remembered that scene where she's feeding toddler Mikey his dinner while singing "Town Without Pity". She replaces a line at some point with "Now we'll eat our pudding now". Not poetry, but whatever. Then she does this little pole dance with the refrigerator door as John Travolta looks on from a crack in the apartment door. Then he busts up in the kitchen just in time to sing "How can we keep love alive? How can anything survive, when these little minds tear you in two... what a town without pity can do..." while doing some of his own dirty dancing with her.

Then I realized I watched this movie way too often growing up.

My Fifth Grade Flashback

Being an elementary school teacher, I get the chance to revisit my past quite often. The things that these kids do and say can stir up in me the same insecurities, joys, and emotional rollercoasters that I felt when I was their age. I recognize the insecure look of a girl who is trying out a new style or haircut. I see through the fifth grader who mentions a certain boy's name, oh about 50 million (that's for you, Jayme!) times and then insists that he's disgusting. And when I hear any of them talk about whatever star is their current crush, I simply sit back and think...

"He/They can't hold a candle to NKOTB!"

Yeah, I said it. This can't come as a surprise to any of you. You remember my post about my favorite music group of all time. I love them, I really do! I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with them... oh wait... different unreasonable teen crush...

So, when I got the chance to go see the boys from Boston, I couldn't resist! I knew deep down that it would probably be one of the most enjoyably cheesy nights of my life, but well worth the 86 bucks I would shell out to go ($68 ticket, $12 awesome customized t-shirt, $5 to help Julie with gas, and $1 for my part of the parking). I was totally right. Since I don't do cameras, I am swiping some pics from Kristi's facebook albums to post here.

Brooke and I waiting for everyone to change into their groovy t-shirts, designed by Kristi. I don't love this pic of me, but it's a good shot of our shirts. :)

Brooke and me being "suddenly surprised" with our upgraded seats. We were on the first row after floor seats -- even better than floor seats because 1) we didn't pay floor seat price and 2) I could see over all the floor seat people's heads!

I assume this was taken before since we're seated. Shanna is already getting that mocking look on her face...

Building anticipation as their tiny heads pop up from the stage...

The first ultra cheesy moment for me -- Jordan in the sunglasses. Come on now.

You should know that to me, Joe can do no wrong. I am completely certain that at this moment, he is wishing that he was singing to me instead of this chick.

As close as I get to dancing. Note Shanna, who was I believe in utero the first time she "saw" the boys, is making fun. I will not deny that I joined her at times, much to Brooke's dismay.

My boyfriend, Joey-Joe McIntyre, walking right past us heading to the second stage. Brooke's hand is touching him here, and I touched his hand just seconds later. Yes, I am twelve. Don't care. I touched Jon and Donnie when they came back and Joe again. Again, yes I'm twelve. Still don't care.

A shot of the fellas singing on the second stage, very close.

Kristi, flashing a victorious smile after defeating the drunk girls who elbowed and stepped on her and Julie.

Overall, it was a wonderful time with new friends (the South Newton gals) and old friends (NKOTB, duh.) I definitely enjoyed the old stuff far more than the new (pervy) stuff, but also admit that I have had that "Dirty Dancing" song in my head a lot lately ("Oooh it's so crazy, she's like Baby, I'm like Swayze" --- classy and destined to be classic)

I remember back in the day I would rate the boys in order that I "liked" them. That order would be: 1) Joe 2) Jordan 3) Donnie 4) Jon 5) Danny. Now I would have to rank them on my skank scale: 1) Donnie 2) Jordan (though they are close...) 3) Danny (just because of all the muscle shirts really) 4) Joe 5) Jon. (Even though I don't consider Joe skanky at all, I have to put Jon last -- he's too timid and anxious to be skanky! Besides, they are all willing to sing this trash... they gotta be on the scale somewhere...)

I'm going to end this now because this has turned into one heck of a post. But there is so much more I could discuss -- beer chugging (not us), giant brassieres (again, not us), spastic dancing on top of a piano (wish it was us), Jordan's pale skinny shirtless dancing self... but it's getting late. And maybe those are stories better told in person...

Why Bless Your Heart?

First, all good southern women know that you can basically say anything that you want about anybody or anything as long as you follow it up with “bless his/her heart”. I figured if I named my blog this, then whatever I say here will be covered with a big ol’ bless your heart at the top!

Second, the whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to share a bit of myself with my friends. Humor is one of my favorite things to share with loved ones and since it is so valuable to me, I hope that the things I write here, both serious and humorous, will in some way bless your heart.