A Thanksgiving Post... of sorts

I totally forgot to reveal the team name origins! I know you were all in deep suspense... or just went ahead and googled them yourself. (Alicia, I'm talking to you!) But for those of you who are still waiting... here's something to be thankful for (see what I did there?)

1) The Bleeding Armadillos
Steel Magnolias, referring to the red velvet grooms cake.

2) Cinder-f'in-rellas
Pretty Woman, of course.

3) The Genuinely Tiny Knickers
Bridget Jones

4) First Lobsters
Love Actually ("There was more than one lobster at the birth of Christ?" "Duh.")

5) The Plastic Mathletes
Mean Girls, combining both of Kady's roles in her new high school.

6) Pigs from Hell
Steel Magnolias (Ouiser Boudreaux calls Drum a pig from hell... I need to remember that one.)

7) Dancing Watermelons
Dirty Dancing -- "I carried a watermelon."

8) Porpoise Spit
Muriel's Wedding. Obscure, but I do love Toni Collette. (Porpoise Spit is the name of her town.)

9) The Reindeer Jumpers
Bridget Jones again -- Colin Firth in a reindeer sweater ... still yummy!

... and finally the one that came in a CLOSE second...
10) The Eloquent Shits
You've Got Mail! When Joe Fox is shown on TV saying "I sell cheap books so sue me", he tells Kevin all of what he actually said and ends with "I was eloquent. Shit!"

And now you know!

Fantasy Football 2009 - Team Name Rejects

It should come as no surprise that once again I am in an all-girls Fantasy Football League. (If it is a surprise, or for more background on this development, go here.)

This year our league went with a theme for our names again. (The first year we did Bad Girls of the Bible -- I was Gomer's Girlz Gone Wild. Last year, no theme, so I went with Leapin' Lemurs.) The theme we settled on was Chick Flicks. Ah yes. A genre I know well. I started researching through my own DVD collection and online for some ideas from some of my favorite chick flicks and finally decided on the Vengeful Sluts. This comes from the movie My Best Friend's Wedding -- Cameron Diaz's cousins introduce themselves in this way: "Hi, we're the vengeful sluts, but you can call us eager!" Lee even made this awesome picture for me:

I'm very happy with my name (and that awesome picture!), but it feels a shame to let the rest of the list go unseen! So, I'm listing the rejected names below without their movies they are from so you can comment and guess. Exciting, I know! Admittedly some are easy, but I think there are some challenges on there too. No cheating and running to google or IMDB! :)

1) The Bleeding Armadillos

2) Cinder-f'in-rellas

3) The Genuinely Tiny Knickers

4) First Lobsters

5) The Plastic Mathletes

6) Pigs from Hell

7) Dancing Watermelons

8) Porpoise Spit

9) The Reindeer Jumpers

... and finally the one that came in a CLOSE second...

10) The Eloquent Shits

So, how many can you figure out WITHOUT searching? (One hint... kind of... there are two movies that have two entries each.) I'll post the answers later.

Harry vs. Twilight

Before I begin this post you should know a couple of things:

1) I have read each and every one of the Harry Potter books multiple times -- Books 1-4 probably 4-5 times each. Books 5-7 two times each. I have read all four Twlight books twice.

2) I obviously enjoyed both series or I would not commit to reading them multiple times. I plan to read them all again.

3) I am not promising a spoiler free post. If you are afraid you may be spoiled about either series, don't read any further. You have been warned.

So, with that said, here they are:

Thirteen Reasons why Harry Potter kicks Twilight's Tail

(in no particular order)

1) Quidditch vs. Thunderstorm Baseball. No contest. Baseball is still baseball even if the players are ridiculously fast, strong, and bang into each other loudly. Quidditch -- flying brooms, bludgers trying to kill you, quaffles soaring through hoops, the golden snitch fluttering all around the pitch -- seriously good stuff!! Plus Joanne Rowling developed it all herself. Impressive. (sidenote: have you seen these people trying to play quidditch on broomsticks on the ground? Seriously hilarious and a bit ridiculous to me. But you gotta admire their committment. Check out this link: Vassar Quidditch Team

2) Immortal life would suck. Seriously. Who would want to just roam earth forever, leading the same basic section of life over and over and over and over... Wizards have a normal life expectancy (unless you get a hold of a sorceror's stone of course...) and don't have to live high school forever. Blech. And knowing the only way you will ever die is to be ripped apart and burned... yikes. Give me Avada Kedavra any day.

3) Wizards eat and sleep! I think Lee put it best when she said something to the effect of "Sleeping and eating are two of my favorite things to do. I don't want to live a life where I don't get to do either!" Amen Sister!

4) The good guys are the majority. Sure you have that pesky Death Eater thing going on at times, but all in all, wizards are happy just living their life and letting muggles live theirs. But vampires -- we know that Dr. Cullen and his family of "vegetarians" are the minority. No peaceful coexistence for vampires and humans.

5) The Ministry of Magic beats the Volturi anyday. Sure, they are not perfect and turn a blind eye to evil, but still much better than an underground group of blood thirsty vampires who pretend to govern by certain rules and guidelines for vampire living.

6) Beloved characters die. Yes, this is reason why I think Harry wins. After all the conflicts and dangerous situations those Cullens get themselves into, you would think SOMEONE would bite it. Or really leave the family. But no. Happy little family. And if you've read even as far as book 4 you know that in HP, good guys die. And if you've read up through 5 you know that really good guys die. And if you've read 6 you know that REALLY good guys die... you get the picture. This is just more realistic. It sucks, but it's real.

7) No one is impossibly handsome. We've got some studs in Harry Potter, but no one so breathtakingly perfect that it has to be discussed every other page. Again, real.

8) Sparkly skin? Really? I do enjoy the books, but this is one stupid detail. As if leading a vampire vegetarian life isn't secluded enough, let's just add "you can't go out in the sunlight" to the mix. And why can't you? Because your skin would blister? No. Because you are concerned about skin cancer? No. Because your skin looks like diamonds? Oh of course.

I feel the need to stop here and reiterate, I really do like Twilight! But stack it up beside Harry... and you get this list... continuing now...

9) Harry Potter isn't girl porn. Yeah, I said it. Twilight is the girl equivalent to porn. It's chock full of all that mushy emotional romantic crap that we girls go ga-ga over. Edward makes 40 year old housewives swoon as well as 12 year old girls. Women and girls alike completely lose themselves in this fantasy world and begin building up these ridiculous standards in their head of how they want their boyfriends/husbands/various men in their lives to be. I don't know about you, but this is my main argument against tweens and even most teens reading the books -- relationships are already hard, why do we need to complicate it further for girls by muddling up their minds with unrealistic mush?

10) Love develops. You get to watch romance develop between beloved characters in a very real (there's that darn word again!) way. None of this "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" nonsense.

11) Wizards are born wizards. No one has to be bitten. Heck, you don't even have to be born to wizard parents. It just happens and everyday I wish it had "just happened" to me. :)

12) Hogwarts or Forks High. Again, really? Undoubtedly, Hogwarts is the place to be! Classes like Potions, Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts OR Biology, English, and PE. Tough one!

13) Magic vs Vampire abilities. So vampires are strong and fast. And some of them have one additional power like mind reading or future telling. But with a wand and some potions, wizards can do freakin' magic! Endless possibilities!!

I could probably go on... but I think my point is made. I think I'll go read another chapter from Order of the Phoenix...

"Reasons to Wed"

As a girl who loves order and organization, I also love list making. I love making shopping lists, to-do lists, top 5 lists, lists of rules, lists of facts... hee hee! See what I did there? I just made a list!

Anyway, sometime in college I started a list called "Reasons to Wed". I kept this list (bulleted, of course, because I love me some bullets) on a post it pad in a little post it pad travel box that I kept in my purse so tht I could add to it when inspiration hit.

Now, this isn't a serious list by any stretch. You won't find spiritual reasons, fiscal reasons, or any remotely practical or reasonable reasons. To give you an idea about the content of this list, I actually remembered the list today as I was waiting to have my oil changed and inspection done. This is something I am completely capable of doing, but I would much, MUCH rather someone else do it. Someone who is a man. Someone who is married to me. Ah ha! A reason to wed!

I kept the post its with this ever growing list in my desk for a long time. But I looked for it today and couldn't find it. (Remember that organization thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that also causes me to throw away a lot of stuff...) But I think I remember most of the little tidbits. So, sit back and enjoy a bulleted list, chock full of "Amanda's (nonsensical) Reasons to Wed". :)

I need a husband to:

* Have the oil changed/inspection done/gas pumped/anything car related done (I really really hate doing this stuff. Aside from the gas, my dad always took care of it and I miss him for better reasons than that, but I do miss this!!)

* Eat the gross food (i.e. black jellybeans, mushrooms, etc.)

* Empty the dishwasher. (I don't mind loading, but unloading... ugh

* Push the baby stroller (this one I came up with while visiting Alcatraz... there were some hills I would not want to have to push a baby stroller up!)

* Kill the bugs (like the praying mantis that tried to kill Melanie and me back at Turtle Creek or the millipede I had to chase down my stairs on the 4th of July)

* Warm up my cold feet (because, let's face it, my feet are cold 90% of the time)

* Have someone to do the vacuuming. (Another chore I despise. Seems manly enough... almost like pushing a lawn mower, right?)

I am sure there are more I am forgetting, but that gives you a pretty good idea. So, I know I'm not alone in this: do you have any silly "Reasons to Wed" or "Reasons You are Glad You Wed" to share?

Embracing my inner Dolly...

... Dollywood that is!

A few months ago, the Simmons family took a trip to Dollywood with Lee's mom and sister. I, of course, found this really amusing and made fun of them (if not to their face, at least behind their back... :) When they returned home, I found out that not only did they have a blast, but they also purchased season passes. Season passes?? For Dollywood?

Then pretty soon after this I find out that Dawn and her little family had also been to Dollywood and emerged with season passes!! Now, I consider Dawn to be one of the most reasonable people I know. (It's probably because we're both Js.) And she's pretty darn cheap! (How long did you have that tiny little TV because you refused to spend money on one that you can actually see?)

How was this happening? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

But then I considered that I like cheese as much as the next guy... so really who am I to judge? Plus, I really don't like to be left out of things, especially fun things, so if one by one my friends were becoming members of the Dollywood Season Pass Holders Cult, I needed to check this out for myself...

So, Lee, Joy, Cecilia, Gareth, Dawn and Anna K and I headed to Pigeon Forge so I could take in the Dollywood splendor for myself. (Obviously you know where this is going...)

My Season Pass in all it's glory.

Here are some pictures of our day! (courtesy of Dawn)

On the shuttle from the parking lot.

On the shuttle -- I think this is the last time Anna smiled for the camera that day...

First ride of the day -- Cecilia was so happy that she and I got a pink car!

Lee and Gareth in his Lightning McQueen red car.

The redheads looking awesome in a teal car!

Probably the best picture of the day!! The kids looking like drowned rats after the River Rampage Ride.

Waiting in line for the Scrambler, one of Anna's faves! (Mine too! I think I'm mostly just fascinated by the fact that it doesn't make me sick!)

Anna, Cecilia, and Dawn on the Scrambler.

Deda and Gareth on the Scrambler. I promise you, he was screaming "GO! GO! GO! FAST! FAST!" at the beginning. By the end... he was looking a little green. :)

We also saw a show, ate some really yummy food, and just had an all around great time! So, yeah. I'm sold! Got my season pass and my $.99 refillable cup ready to use ALL SEASON LONG! (Did I mention that Dollywood is all Coke? Could this place be more perfect??)

Okay, so who's up for a trip?

Things I Love Thursday!

I have come to the conclusion that I have an addictive personality. Not scary addictive, but addictive just the same. There are a couple of things that I honestly cannot imagine giving up for any period of time and one of them is LOTION. I LOVE LOTION! I cannot stand the way my hands feel when they are dry -- after washing dishes is the worst! I have shared this before, but when I was little, if I woke up in the night and my hands felt "funny" (I have since realized they were dry...), I would lick my palms and go back to sleep. Gross, but effective enough to allow me to go back to sleep without thinking about the feeling anymore. Now, I often wake up and night and roll over to squirt on some lotion before going back to sleep.

It will come as no surprise that I have certain favorites. My main all over after a shower lotion is Olay Quench. It has to be the kind that has deep indigo writing on the bottle... Ultra something or another. I LOVE the smell and the texture of it. The only slight issue I have is it's a little sparkly. Not quite middle school dance makeup sparkly, but a little sparkly just the same.

Recently two more lotions have come into my life that I honestly will never live without again. I stumbled upon these one day at Bed Bath and Beyond when a cashier suggested I buy the travel sizes so I could boost my total to qualify for a coupon. Best decision ever! I tried Miracle Foot Repair and Miracle Hand Repair that night and within two days, my feet were no longer cracked and scaly as they often are throughout flipflop season. I went to get a pedi a couple of weeks ago and the lady didn't even put on the heavy duty heel cream that she normally has to use! And as for my hands -- I have seriously had like 4 people comment on how soft my hands are! How often does this happen? (Unfortunately none of them were hot single men, but whatever... :)

Okay, so those are three things I love -- seriously love -- and highly recommend to EVERYONE. If you're skeptical, try mine or get a trial size. I guarantee you will be buying the big stuff before you know it!

My Last "My" Post

When I started this blog, I decided to follow in the tradition of Scrubs and title every post "My _____". For a while, I enjoyed the challenge, but I have decided that I feel strangled by this attempt to keep it up. (Coincidentally, this is similar to the way I feel about ABC choosing to continue with Scrubs, a show that I LOVE, but which I feel needs to be allowed to die with dignity. But that's a post for another time...) So, no more.

Part of the catalyst behind the decision (beside intense frustration in trying to come up with clever ways to title my posts "My something") is that I would like to start some regular segments that I've seen others do such as Things I Love Thursday and Earworm Wednesday (I haven't actually seen anyone with this one, but Stephen King mentioned earworms in Entertainment Weekly a while back and I've been thinking about the number of songs in my head each day and it's quite the motley crew!). Maybe More than you need to know about Me Monday or Flashback Friday. The possibilities (and alliterative delights!) are endless! These won't be EVERY week, but used on those days when I think that I'd like to write something but have nothing exciting to say.

Stay tuned! I can feel your excitement. :)